Beware of Irate Fathers
by madwriter223
Summary: -Kink Meme- Odin is a very powerful God and father of two sons. One of them pretty much pissed him off. So much he has to go down to Midgard. That will not end well. Cameo by Nick Fury. Humor, some swearing


**Beware of Irate Fathers**

Odin, along with ten of Asgard's best warriors, appeared in the middle of the Helicarrier commnad centre in a blinding flash. While the agents were still dazed from the bright light, the Allfather strode up to Fury, then hauled him upright by his shoulder.

"You will take me to my son, mortal." he commanded.

Fury eyed the golden armor and decided 'from Asgard' and 'HammerBoy' were safe bets. "Thor isn't here. He left to find the Tesseract."

"My firstborn is not my current concern. You will take me to my _younger_ son. _Now_."

"Loki is in containment."

Odin's single eye narrowed. "I will not ask again, mortal." His tone was low, dangerous, and the other Asgardians lifted their weapons.

On onehand, these were all seasoned warriors and high security risks and Fury wanted nothing more than to shoot them all before they could fuck up their Loki situation. On the other hand, this was an alien King, and starting an interplanetary war would piss off the Counsil. Then they'd cut SHIELD's funding. Again.

"This way." He said and turned around, stalking out of the command center with the Asgardians hot on his heels.

They arrived in the containment area and Fury was kinda proud that the agents presend hadn't started shooting at the armed to the teeth procession. He motioned for them all to stand down, then turned to face the king.

"Here he is."

Loki stared at them from inside the Hulk-cage, eyes wide and deranged.

"Has he been harmed in any way?" Odin asked, voice low.

"Just a few hits so we could take him into custody." Nick replied, eyeing the king. "Nothing permanent has been done."

"Your luck, mortal." Odin growled quietly at him, then stepped forward. He stopped practically a foot away from the enforced glass. Loki blinked, then took a weary step back.

They stared at each other for a few moments, and the air was so thick with clichéd tension Fury wanted to puke.

Then Odin scowled fiercely. "Do you have any idea how _worried_ your Mother and I have been?" he demanded in the tone of an affronted parent. "We've been looking everywhere for you! The Army hasn't stopped going through the Nine Realms looking for you since you let go of Gungnir, which was the stupidest thing you could have done in your entire life! What in Bor's name were you thinking?"

Loki blinked at him, green eyes wide. "You said no."

"Of course I said no! You were trying to destroy Jotunheim!"

"They are your ancient enemies-"

"That doesn't matter! They're a Realm! You destroy one and the entire Yggdrassil will unravel. Haven't I taught you anything?"

Loki snarled. "Everything you taught me was a lie!"

"Stop being so dramatic, I lied about _one_ thing!"

"The most important thing of my life! My entire existance would have been different!"

"Again with the dramatics! Nothing would be different!"

Loki stared at the King, then the muscle under his left eye twitched. "Everyone knew, didn't they?" he growled quietly.

"Only those that needed to know. How else was I supposed to explain to the servants that your skin is always cold, but you don't need a sweater? How else was I supposed to explain to the Healers why you vomited if your bath was too hot? How the Hel was I supposed to explain to your training instructors why you bruised green and purple instead of black and blue, not to mention you bled white sometimes!"

"And what did you tell them? That I was a pathetic Jotunn foundling?" Hissed, enraged.

"No, I told them you took after Queen Bestla and your body's more Jotunn than Asgardian!"

Loki blinked, his jaw working soundlessly for a few moments. "Then why couldn't you tell me the same thing?"

"Because you're my son, Bordammit! You deserve the truth!"

Loki's face crumpled briefly, then he flashed his teeth. "NO! I am not your son and you are not my father!"

Odin growled. "I am your father in every way that counts!"

"No, you are not!"

"Yes, I am!"

"NO! YOU'RE NOT!" Loki stomped his foot for added effect.

"FINE!" Odin boomed, and punched the glass wall of the cage. From the single point of contact, a series of cracks errupted in the glass, spreading across the whole cage like a web. The cage walls groaned once, then the entire thing shattered.

The King stepped inside and stalked angrily to Loki. The Prince managed to take two steps backwards before his face was caught in an old, but powerful hand.

"I may not be 'your father'," Odin said, voice firm with conviction. "But you are still my son, whether you like it or not. So shut the Hel up, cease these dramatics and we are going _home_."

Loki blinked at him, eyes shocked. "But- I can't, the Chitauri-"

Odin sneered in distaste.

"Yes, them. I've already had a word with that Thanos fellow and I can assure you he won't be bothering you again."

Loki gaped, no shame in admitting that. "But- But he's death and torment incarnate."

"Oh, please. I am a very irate father with a missing son, and a golden army of immortal gods at my command. Which I unleashed on the whole Universe to find you."

"You-"

"Exactly. We're going to have a long talk about you being responsible in the future, especially considering what I won't hesitate to do to get you back." Odin laid a paternal hand on Loki's back and pushed him gently towards the exit. "Now come along, your Mother has worried enough."

Loki, with an expression described best as shellshock, took a few hesitant steps forward.

Fury felt it was an apt moment to interrupt. "Sorry, Your Majesty, but Loki's not going anywhere." he said firmly, staring fearlessly at the Asgardian ruler.

A second later, Fury was staring at the ceiling while five sharp weapons were aimed at his throat. The other five Asgardians were standing protectively around Loki, weapons also drawn and fully ready to stab someone through the eye.

"See, son, this is exactly the overreaction you inflict on the world each time you run away and hide." Odin said matter-of-fact-ly, then turned his attention to Fury. "Destroy the sceptre and your mind-controlled minions will be free. When Thor returns, discuss how high a weregild you want for the lives my youngest took. Anything else?"

Fury curled his lip thoughtfully, still lying on his back. "And the Cube?"

"The Tesseract will return with Thor." Odin's tone brooked no argument, and Odin marched out of the containment area, pulling his still shocked son behind himself. The guards thankfully followed after them.

Fury lay on the floor for a few minutes more, silently hoping the powerful crazies would be out of his metathorical hair when he got up.

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**Written for a Kink Meme prompt:**

I've recently been rewatching _The West Wing_, and it left me with the following itch;  
In season one the president's daughter gets reamed out by her dad for putting herself in a dangerous situation. Her father than goes on to very angrily elucidate that she is the secret service's worst nightmare because if someone takes her then the country no longer has a president, it has a father with executive power who is out of his mind with worry.

Somehow I think that approach would have a much better chance of getting through to Loki than a couple of cuddles and I-Love-Yous.

Can I see, Post-Avengers, Odin seething with worry!anger explaining to Loki that it doesn't matter if Loki sees himself as an Odinson or not. Odin sees him as such and the last thing the nine realms need is Asgard's King losing objectivity because his son went off and got himself captured.

+10 Bonus if Odin assigns Loki secret service style bodyguards.  
+100 if he does it because despite Loki being able to hold his own in a fight, he's still Odin's little princess.


End file.
